From Fall to 50k

Six weeks ago, I woke up from surgery with my leg wrapped in surgical dressings, a compression sleeve, an ace bandage, and a knee brace. Four weeks ago, I removed the compression sleeve with a cheer.  It was uncomfortable, itchy, and HOT.  I was ecstatic to finally get rid of it! Three weeks ago, I dropped the ace bandage for the majority of the time.  I would still wrap up my knee when I needed more support but for the most part, it hung out with the rest of the PT items in a box. Two weeks ago, I gained more motion when I was able to fully unlock my brace and be mobile around the house.  It meant sleeping upstairs, a shower with no help, and moving down to just using one crutch. On Tuesday, the last of the heavy duty surgical remnants disappears.  The knee brace will finally find it's way to the basement. The brace has been itchy, confining, and chafing for the last six weeks.  It's forced me into pants through mid-May and made it challenging to sleep....

Between my careers as a teacher, banker, personal trainer, and wellness coach, I should know better than to use acronyms and jargon when I'm writing. But, in a haze of painkillers, I forgot. I forgot that just because the locked brace, the CPM, and the quad sets are so familiar to me after four months that they are just second nature by this point. So... a quick primer on all things ACL recovery.   ACL - the anterior cruciate ligament is found in your knee.  It forms an X on your knee with the posterior cruciate ligament.  It's responsible for side to side and turning motions.  It's why so many people who tear their ACLs do it with "cutting" sports like volleyball, skiing, and tennis.   Rupture - an ACL rupture is a grade 3 sprain - meaning that the entire ligament has been torn in two.  I've learned that this is not the worst grade you can get - evidently it can separate from the bone as well in a grade 4 sprain.  Most ruptures are repaired ...

I broke down at physical therapy this morning. Literal actual tears and even probably snot running down my face. The tears started with the dreaded knee hang.  All I have to do is lie on my back with my ankle propped on a foam roller and let my knee relax down.  It's literally the hardest thing I do in PT.  I've made it through the full five minutes ONCE without crying. Usually, once the exercise is over, I can move on to the next one and know that I don't have to do that again until next time. But today? Today it was like that was the exercise that opened the floodgates to all of the frustration and defeat that I've been feeling since January.   The frustration with needing help for what feels like absolutely everything.  For not being able to sleep in my own bed.  For the fact that this stupid knee brace will not stay in position for more than ten minutes at a time.  For the hours of work I put in every single day to show back up at PT and know ...

I'm officially two weeks post op.  And the last week had some of the wildest swings between high and low that I've had since my injury occurred back in January. Physical therapy has been both hard and rewarding.  From the first assessment appointment last Friday morning through two appointments this week, I haven't made it through a session yet without tears.  And mostly the tears are from frustration.  I've lost SO much of what I gained in my first round of PT.  But, Todd and Karen have been amazing - reminding me of where I started and helping me see how far I came in a short time.  I'll have so much to look back on when I finish my 50k next June!!! I also had my first post op appointment this week with the PA.   And she was amazing.  Alleviating so many of my fears, working with me to relax my leg, and being real about what's coming.  I was officially cleared to go weight bearing as tolerated on my repaired leg as long as my brace is ...

 It’s been a WEEK!! I knew rationally that recovery and healing would be a series of ups and downs - with no two days looking the same.  And that linear progress would be a ridiculous dream.  Rationally, I was totally correct. I tried my best to prepare for the irrationality and uncertainty of what was to come.  I set up a recovery area in our reading room - full on with comfy couch, medical table, and wire shelving to hold everything I thought I might want or need.  A whiteboard set up with all of my prescriptions, CPM goals, and ice times.  A wheelchair at the ready.  Way too big pants purchased to go over my newly repaired leg.  Oils to keep my mood elevated. An app to help me sleep .   When it comes to over preparing, I’m an expert. The first few days are mostly a blur of pain, pain meds, and sleep.  I know I watched a lot of TV - finishing out the last season of House and blazing through a new favorite show - Derry Girls.  Bu...

 Friday morning dawned bright and early.  My nerves had me up and in the shower even before the alarm sounded.   Everything I had worked so hard to visualize came to fruition.  Mike and I arrived at the hospital and were immediately sent upstairs for surgery check-in.  As expected, we waited a bit and then I was called back.  I was feeling much more calm than I had expected. I had a bevy of visitors while in preop - nurses for the IV, for the nerve block, and the anesthesiologist.  I’m sure there were more but I started to lose track quickly.  The IV was an incredibly easy process and once the “feel good” meds were pumping, I have little recollection of names, faces, or events.  I’m grateful for Mike’s calm demeanor at every single step of the journey. Eventually, my ortho came back to discuss the surgery and see if I had any last minute questions. Oddly enough for me, I didn’t have a single one. My bed was wheeled down to the O.R. and the an...